A Better Day and A Couple Stories

Today has been a better day. After having my down day yesterday I am feeling more encouraged. Toby allowed me to carry him down to breakfast and also down to the pool today. This is big progress for us. He is also more cuddly with his bottle again. I keep reminding myself it's only been a week and things won't happen overnight, but every little step forward is a victory for me. Toby really likes the pool and doesn't seem to have any fear of the water. I meant to take my camera down to take some pics but forgot so I will do that tomorrow. Today we swam at the pool after breakfast and skyping with the kids. Toby's napping right now and Dave went out to get us some Subway for lunch (yes there is a Subway close by). We are planning on exploring the island a little more this afternoon and then having dinner at Lucy's tonight again. Toby loves the baby noodle bowl they have there.

So I don't think I ever told the glasses story so I thought I'd share it. On our second to last night in Beijing Dave's glasses broke. The arm completely came off and was unfixable. We asked our guide if there was any way to get new glasses. That night after touring she took us to an eye glasses place and was able to help us get Dave a new pair. He got new lenses and frames for a total of $30 US. They had them ready with the perfect percription in less than an hour. Talk about a good deal. Maybe that's why Toby's so loving his daddy, his Chinese glasses.

The other night we had put Toby in his crib after falling asleep in our bed. At some point in the middle of the night he crawled out of the crib and into Dave's bed. He conked out and slept the rest of the night with Dave.

HAPPY 7TH BIRTHDAY BEN!!
We love you so much and with we could be with you. Hope you have/had a wonderful day. We are so proud of the wonderful boy you are becoming. You are an amazing big brother and we are blessed. You are such a special gift from God!

The Past Few Days

Well we safely arrived in Guangzhou on Friday evening after a delayed flight and tiring day. We had a rough start to the flight but Toby recovered and did pretty well the rest of the way. He was really beginning to attach more to me and I was excited about that. Dave was able to leave us while we played and hung out. He was being quite cuddling with his bottle as well.

Guangzhou is much more Western that Henan was and I have to admit it's nice to not eat rice or noodles for every meal. We are at the White Swan hotel and it is lovely. There are two outdoor pools and a huge playroom. The hotel itself has much to explore. We have two twin beds here so we weren't sure how it would work with Toby and co-sleeping. So far we've been able to get him to sleep in his crib or he starts out in Dave's bed and then we move him once he's asleep to the crib. We have the crib pushed up against the side of the bed so we can reach over and pat him at night if he needs it.

Yesterday was a tough day. We had the medical exam which went fine but then Toby had to have 5 shots. Dave held him but I had to leave the room as I was too emotional. Another dad went in with Dave for me. They do not move quickly so it was a bit of a process. Dave had to hold him tight while they gave him shots in both arms and both legs. He was screaming the whole time and did not get over it quickly. He is fine now and did not have any negative reactions so far so that is good. It did set back his attachment some, especially to me. Even though I wasn't even in the room he is rejecting me a bit more today. He won't cuddle with his bottle anymore and he is more stressed if Dave is not in sight. I'm hoping that this will be temporary but I'm feeling a bit down about is all today. It's hard when your child doesn't want you to be near him. I know it's not personal but I would just love for him to reach up his arms toward me asking to be picked up one of these days. I suppose the only bright side, as pointed out for another mom, is that Dave will have to deal with Toby on the long ride home. Not so much a bright side for Dave but oh well.

We also got a stroller to borrow while here in Guangzhou and that is saving Dave's back and arms. Toby enjoys being outside, especially at night with all the lights to see. He is really taking it all in and exploring the world. He thinks it's pretty neat to feed himself as I don't think he had the opportunity to do that in the orphanage.

A couple prayer requests:
-Please pray that a paperwork snafu we have encountered will be resolved quickly
-Pray that my sinus' continue to heal
-Continued health for Dave and Toby
-Pray that attachment will continue to move forward for Toby and I

We miss you all (especially Ben, Daniel and Lucy) and can't wait to come home.

Almost Done in Henan

We leave tomorrow to head to Guangzhou which will be our final stop on our China trip. I'm definitely feeling homesick and missing the kids a lot. I had a tough day on Tuesday and another mom was so kind and gave me a little pep talk. She reminded me that I just had to make it through today and the only needed to worry about one day at a time. I feel a sense of relief to know that when I wake up in the morning it will only be one more week till we fly home. Don't get me wrong. I am enjoying so much of China but I'm really ready to settle into regular family life again. Living in hotels and eating out all the time get a little much sometimes.

Toby continues to do well and is a happy boy. He and I had some alone time today and aside from looking at the door a few times to see is Dave was coming back he did well. He doesn't let me hold him unless I'm giving him his bottle or feeding him but he will play with me and interact on the floor. He will be very silly and playful while Dave is holding him. He seems to really feel safe with daddy and we are grateful for that. He also started saying mama today. I'm not in anyway convinced that it is directed at me but it is still nice to hear. Due to his anxious attachment with Dave we are now co-sleeping with Toby. All I have to say is it is amazing to me how a small body can take up so much room on a king size bed.

Today we went for a walk in a nice park close to our hotel. It was hot today so we went early after breakfast and then staying indoors the rest of the day. Toby went in the pool at the hotel today and had a great time. He really likes the water. He was very trusting of Dave and relaxed in his arms in the pool.

Please pray for my sinus's. I'm feeling a little better but as we have another flight tomorrow I really would like for them to clear up more. Thanks for praying for the families that are struggling. They are making positive progress and we are excited about that. We cherish your continued prayers for all of us as well as our children at home.

God Bless

The Past Couple of Days

August 25th we became the legal parents of Hu Ruo Yu (Tobias). We went as a group with the other families back to the registration office and received our official adoption certificates. Then it was off to the notary for more paperwork and pictures. Toby was a trooper but was definitely ready for a nap when we returned to the hotel. Later that afternoon I went with the other families to a place called the Lotus Center (think WalMart). The only difference is I stepped in urine at least 3 times, there is no air conditioning and they have animal carcasses hanging from the ceiling. It was an experience I'm glad I had but do not feel an urgency to go back any time soon. Toby went to bed easily but woke at about 11:30pm coughing a lot. It continued off and on for a while. I checked on him and he awoke so I brought him into our king size bed. Within a couple hours the boy had succeeded in pushing mommy so far to the edge that I had to sleep across the foot of the bed. Then he took daddy's blanket and Dave ended up with me at the foot of the bed. By the morning we were all sleeping the opposite direction on the bed. Not a lot of sleep to be had but we survived.

August 26th was a day to just hang out and relax. We hung out in our hotel room and went for a walk. We will soon head out to dinner with another family. I've been not feeling well and may have a sinus infection. Our guide has given me some sort of Chinese remedy that apparently taste like gym socks but works well. I will try it before bed tonight. Please pray for a quick recovery for me and that Dave and Toby do not get what I have.

It has been an emotional and somewhat tiring couple days as we all learn about one another and adjust to becoming a family. Toby is doing really well. He seems to be learning to trust us and gives us lots of smiles and giggles. He thinks pretend sneezing is really funny. He is most definitely a daddy's boy and doesn't like to have Dave out of his sight too much. Mommy does all the feeding so that's the one time he will sit with me and allow me to hold him. He's fine playing with me as long as daddy's also around. I suppose the one benefit for me is that Dave is now the hot, sweaty one carrying a toddler around all day.

Please continue to pray for us and also for all the families in our travel group. Some are really struggling and need to be lifted up.

Forever Family Day

Today we finally got to hold our Toby in our arms for the first time. I was a nervous wreck all morning just thinking about how it may all go. We left the hotel at 9:40am and headed to the registration office. When we arrived and walked in I saw Toby was already there. I immediately started crying. Within a couple minutes he was in my arms. He didn't cry but did look a little strangely at this woman who was holding him with tears running down her face. He allowed me to hold him for a while and then I passed him on to Dave. The scene was a little chaotic with all the families meeting their children and trying to video and take pictures for one another. They had a play area and after about 30 minutes Toby pointed that he wanted to go there. We played and he crawled around and pulled to standing. He's not walking but I'm thinking it won't be long. We even got a couple small smiles out of him. I don't think he ever got the first care package I sent as the orphanage did not return anything to me from it. They did return the camera I sent with the cake so I'm looking forward to developing it sometime in the next couple days. We said thank you to his nannies and got a couple pictures and gave them our gifts.

After leaving the registration office we headed to a photo place to have our family adoption picture taken for our adoption certificate. Toby was a champ and ate snacks non stop on the bus ride over there. I think he was pretty hungry. He definitely looks well taken care of and has a good bit of chub on him. He must weigh the same as Lucy, although shorter.

Once back at the hotel we got his diaper changed and made him a bottle. He sucked it down and then wanted more. He drank of total of 10 oz of formula with rice cereal mixed in. The babies are accustomed to very hot and thick formula. He was obviously tired and Dave held him and he got very peaceful. Dave put him in the crib and rubbed his back. After a few minutes he was sound asleep and slept for 3 hours. Upon waking he cried but quickly quieted when I picked him up and began to play with him. He then ate an entire banana that I slightly mashed for him. It was so cute as he kept scooting closer and closer to me as he ate. The rest of the afternoon was paperwork and play time.

We decided to get some take out for dinner and just hang in the room and get to know one another. Toby ate rice and had another bottle. He really thinks Dave is funny and will laugh and giggle with him. He's even started wrestling already. He was grunting over and over at us until we realized he wanted us to turn the tv on. I suppose they must watch in the orphanage. He loved the bath mommy gave him and played happily for almost 30 minutes in the tub. After a quick, online chat with the family it was off to bed. He fell asleep quickly cuddling with a little pillow.

We are tired from the day but so overjoyed that we are finally a family. We thank you for your prayers and support and ask that you continue to lift us up. Please pray for good health for all of us and continued peace in this time of transition. Love to you all.

Why We Chose to Adopt

Dave made a good point the other day of saying so many people ask us why we chose to adopt, especially because we already have birth children, so we thought we'd write a post about it.

First, some background is necessary. Dave and I discussed adoption early in our marriage, even before we even had any children by birth. We both had a desire to adopt and knew one day we would. At the time we of course did not know whether that meant we would have birth children first or not. Well God has blessed us with three amazing children who joined our family in the traditional way and now we are in China to adopt our third son, fourth child.

The following random thoughts best paint the picture of why we chosen to adopt (and may yet again)

- The idea of adoption is God's creation. The brutal yet beautiful story of God entering a scarred world in the person of Jesus as told through the 4 Gospels is ultimately about providing a means of adoption (and redemption) for His estranged sons and daughters. The one that fashioned the universe into existence chose to set aside comfort and safety to allow a broken and evil humanity to nail Him to a cross, all because He loved us. When we humble ourselves and ask for God's help and forgiveness, we are adopted as His children.

- There are many orphans in this world. While we can't help them all, we can help at least 1, with love and a stable home.

- When we began to consider having children, we realized that it might not be easy for us. We decided, early on in our marriage, that if we were unable to conceive biologically, we wouldn't attempt any medical intervention. Whether a child had our DNA or not wasn't a priority. To us, you are a mother or father based on what you do with a child post conception.

- Adoption is financially expensive, no doubt about it. We could have spent the money to finish our basement or go on multiple vacations. The money could have been saved for the unknown future or been invested to earn more of it. Yet, all of that is temporal and fleeting. In God's economy, a person is both eternal and more valuable than material possessions. In God's economy, children are an asset and not a curse. In God's economy, it is better to give than to receive. We feel we chose the option that will convert the temporary into that which lasts forever.

- Ultimately, this process has been God leading us and we are merely following. I wonder what would happen if every follower of God was to get actively involved in some way in an adoption. What if Christian families asked God if if He would have them add another little one? You might not be called to adopt, but you might be called to help someone who is, financially, practically or through prayer.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

First Full Day in China

We made it to China yesterday after a long flight. Everything went well and we even ended up getting a free upgrade to Economy Plus when my TV screen would not work. After arriving at the Beijing airport we headed to the hotel with 4 other families. We were on our own for dinner and ended up at McDonalds of all places. We had tried to find a dumpling restaurant that had an English menu but were unable to. We were completely exhausted after the trip (neither Dave nor I were able to sleep on the plane), so after dinner we just headed back to the hotel. We worked hard to keep ourselves awake till 9pm when we were supposed to IChat with the kids. Well it turns out that the Internet capacity here in China is not good enough to do the video chat. It may change at the next stop but we were very disappointed not to be able to see the kids. I did get to talk to them on the phone though. It looks like we will have to upload Skype and try it that way.

Today was a day full of sight seeing. We went to Tian'anmen Square, the forbidden city, a silk factory and Hutong district. We were smelly and tired by the end but had a great time. The silk factory was actually pretty interesting. we got to see how it goes from a silk worm all the the way to the fabric. The forbidden city was pretty amazing. It was so crowded that I felt a little overwhelmed at times. When we were walking through Tian'anmen Square a Chinese man stopped our guide and asked if Dave and I would take a picture with his family. They acted like we were celebrities and put their arms around us for a photo. It was quite funny.

We are definitely missing the kids but we know they are probably having a blast with the grandparents. Our guide showed us the dumpling restaurant so in a few minutes we are meeting another family to head there for dinner. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention breakfast. We have breakfast included with the hotel and oh my goodness do they put on a spread. They have all the Western classics as well as the Chinese, including fried rice, noodles and soup. Lunch was traditional Chinese at one of our guides favorite restaurants. It was really good.

All for now. Tomorrow is the Great Wall, a jade factory and several others. Love to you all.

Baby Shower

Yesterday one of the ladies at our church fellowship hosted a baby shower in celebration of Toby's upcoming arrival home. We had lots of fun and had to eat yucky baby food. I really don't know how babies do it. With the exception of the fruit ones they really don't taste good at all. Toby got some adorable outfits and some much needed diapers and wipes. We will now have two kids in diapers! The shower was such a blessing and encouragement to me as we soon leave to finalize Toby's adoption. Thank you Lisa for hosting and putting it all together for us.

Ben's Birthday Party

Ben will turn 7 while we are in China so we decided to have his birthday party a little early this year. We will still have a family party when we get home but on Saturday he had fun with his friends. We had a slip n slide, water balloon fights and sprinklers going in the backyard. I think everyone was wet and tired by the end. We are sad that we won't be with Ben on his actual birthday but we know Auntie Susan has some fun planned for him.

God Really is Good!

Toby's name means God is Good and He certainly is. As we are planning for our time in China and away from our three little ones at home we have been so blessed by those who have stepped up to help us out when we found ourselves in a bit of an unexpected bind. Our church family, friends and relatives have been quick to rally around us and offer their assistance. I tend to lose sight of the fact that God is in control and I do not need to be anxious about details. He will work them all out in His time and His way. Now if I can only remember that in the moment I'd be much better off :)

We feel all your prayers and thank you for the support you give our family.