Updates

I'm a little behind in updating the blog as many of you have mentioned :) We are coming up on four weeks since we returned from China. Our family has been spending lots of time getting to know Toby and bond together as a family unit. The kids are all doing well and enjoying their newest sibling (most of the time). Obviously with Lucy and Toby being so close in age they are having to make the most adjustments to one another. They are still sorting out their relationship but I'm seeing more and more sweet interactions between them every day.

The second week home we all got a stomach virus which was not fun. The only one who escaped the nastiness was Toby. He must have some immune system. We also saw the surgeon who will be performing Toby's surgery. In addition to having his palate repaired she will also do a lip revision so try to fix the poor work that was done on his lip when it was originally repaired. He will most likely also have tubes put in his ears but that won't be confirmed until we meet with the ENT doctor next week. His surgery is scheduled for November 10th. I have mixed emotions about it all. On one hand I am anxious to get it done and be able to move forward with Toby's healing and speech development. On the other hand I am not looking forward to seeing him in pain and going through the recovery. He will need to wear arm splints for a few weeks to keep him from putting anything in his mouth. I'm sure that will not be fun for him but it will certainly be to his benefit in the long run.

Toby has been such a blessing to our family. Honestly it is just so clear that God intended for him to be a part of our family. It's getting harder and harder to remember life before he came home. I feel so honored that I get to be his mommy. Toby's personality is so sweet. He is easy going and loves to be held. He is quick with smiles and has the most adorable little dimple. He is also a typical toddler and expresses his displeasure when things do not go his way. Generally his tantrums are short lived and he goes back to his pleasant self.

First Week Home

Our first week home has gone really well overall. Jet lag was really tough on all of us but it seems we have now mostly recovered from it. Toby is sleeping well in his crib in our room and we have our bed back. The kids are all adapting to each other and building relationships. Lucy has done better than I expected her to as far as jealousy goes.

Toby is such a blessing and it feels so good to have him home and truly a part of the family now. He and I are getting much closer and he even prefers me to Daddy sometimes. We are starting to see a little more typical toddler behavior (ie. tantrums, hitting etc.) but nothing significant. I'm actually encouraged by it as I think he's feeling safe enough to let his guard down.

My mom has been with us since we returned and it has been a life saver. I can't imagine having to come home and deal with the kids, the household stuff, doctors appts etc. all while trying to recover from jet lag without help. Family and friends have brought over meals and it has all been so helpful.

Toby had his first visit with the pediatrician this week and so far it looks like he is doing good. He's growth is good and she found no obvious signs of illness. He will have to have a pretty extensive blood workup done as well as a liver ultrasound this coming week but I am not concerned that there is anything wrong at this point. He will also have his first appointment with the surgeon who will do his palate surgery on Friday. We will discuss when to do the surgery and get more details at that time.

We look forward to introducing Toby to many of you in the near future.

Shopping Mania

So another mom in our travel group and I hired a local Chinese woman (Ann, from Red Thread) to take us shopping. She took us to wholesale markets and all sorts of amazing stores. She got us unbelievable deals! I'm still in some shock over it. It was tiring but so much fun. She took us off the island and to more local spots. It was good to see a little more of China than just Shamain Island. She is a tiny woman but man she can move fast. We were all tired when we returned but thrilled with our purchases.

Toby continues to do well and is warming up to me a little more each day. He usually ends up sleeping with me so he cuddles in his sleep even if he doesn't know it. He really enjoys the playroom and has fun exploring. We are seeing more and more of his true personality every day. We are looking forward to having him meet his siblings.

We are excited to be in the home stretch of our trip. I miss the kids so much and can hardly wait to hug and kiss them.

Just a quick update on some of the prayer requests. The families that were struggling are really improving and the kids continue to open up each day. My sinus are slowing improving. Toby and mommy are getting closer. Our paperwork snafu has been resolved and all should be good.

Today is our consulate appointment and we should hear in the next couple hours that all is good and that Toby will receive his visa tomorrow.

Please pray for us as we go through our last couple days here in China and begin our journey home. We have felt your prayers and thank you all for your faithfulness.

A Better Day and A Couple Stories

Today has been a better day. After having my down day yesterday I am feeling more encouraged. Toby allowed me to carry him down to breakfast and also down to the pool today. This is big progress for us. He is also more cuddly with his bottle again. I keep reminding myself it's only been a week and things won't happen overnight, but every little step forward is a victory for me. Toby really likes the pool and doesn't seem to have any fear of the water. I meant to take my camera down to take some pics but forgot so I will do that tomorrow. Today we swam at the pool after breakfast and skyping with the kids. Toby's napping right now and Dave went out to get us some Subway for lunch (yes there is a Subway close by). We are planning on exploring the island a little more this afternoon and then having dinner at Lucy's tonight again. Toby loves the baby noodle bowl they have there.

So I don't think I ever told the glasses story so I thought I'd share it. On our second to last night in Beijing Dave's glasses broke. The arm completely came off and was unfixable. We asked our guide if there was any way to get new glasses. That night after touring she took us to an eye glasses place and was able to help us get Dave a new pair. He got new lenses and frames for a total of $30 US. They had them ready with the perfect percription in less than an hour. Talk about a good deal. Maybe that's why Toby's so loving his daddy, his Chinese glasses.

The other night we had put Toby in his crib after falling asleep in our bed. At some point in the middle of the night he crawled out of the crib and into Dave's bed. He conked out and slept the rest of the night with Dave.

HAPPY 7TH BIRTHDAY BEN!!
We love you so much and with we could be with you. Hope you have/had a wonderful day. We are so proud of the wonderful boy you are becoming. You are an amazing big brother and we are blessed. You are such a special gift from God!

The Past Few Days

Well we safely arrived in Guangzhou on Friday evening after a delayed flight and tiring day. We had a rough start to the flight but Toby recovered and did pretty well the rest of the way. He was really beginning to attach more to me and I was excited about that. Dave was able to leave us while we played and hung out. He was being quite cuddling with his bottle as well.

Guangzhou is much more Western that Henan was and I have to admit it's nice to not eat rice or noodles for every meal. We are at the White Swan hotel and it is lovely. There are two outdoor pools and a huge playroom. The hotel itself has much to explore. We have two twin beds here so we weren't sure how it would work with Toby and co-sleeping. So far we've been able to get him to sleep in his crib or he starts out in Dave's bed and then we move him once he's asleep to the crib. We have the crib pushed up against the side of the bed so we can reach over and pat him at night if he needs it.

Yesterday was a tough day. We had the medical exam which went fine but then Toby had to have 5 shots. Dave held him but I had to leave the room as I was too emotional. Another dad went in with Dave for me. They do not move quickly so it was a bit of a process. Dave had to hold him tight while they gave him shots in both arms and both legs. He was screaming the whole time and did not get over it quickly. He is fine now and did not have any negative reactions so far so that is good. It did set back his attachment some, especially to me. Even though I wasn't even in the room he is rejecting me a bit more today. He won't cuddle with his bottle anymore and he is more stressed if Dave is not in sight. I'm hoping that this will be temporary but I'm feeling a bit down about is all today. It's hard when your child doesn't want you to be near him. I know it's not personal but I would just love for him to reach up his arms toward me asking to be picked up one of these days. I suppose the only bright side, as pointed out for another mom, is that Dave will have to deal with Toby on the long ride home. Not so much a bright side for Dave but oh well.

We also got a stroller to borrow while here in Guangzhou and that is saving Dave's back and arms. Toby enjoys being outside, especially at night with all the lights to see. He is really taking it all in and exploring the world. He thinks it's pretty neat to feed himself as I don't think he had the opportunity to do that in the orphanage.

A couple prayer requests:
-Please pray that a paperwork snafu we have encountered will be resolved quickly
-Pray that my sinus' continue to heal
-Continued health for Dave and Toby
-Pray that attachment will continue to move forward for Toby and I

We miss you all (especially Ben, Daniel and Lucy) and can't wait to come home.

Almost Done in Henan

We leave tomorrow to head to Guangzhou which will be our final stop on our China trip. I'm definitely feeling homesick and missing the kids a lot. I had a tough day on Tuesday and another mom was so kind and gave me a little pep talk. She reminded me that I just had to make it through today and the only needed to worry about one day at a time. I feel a sense of relief to know that when I wake up in the morning it will only be one more week till we fly home. Don't get me wrong. I am enjoying so much of China but I'm really ready to settle into regular family life again. Living in hotels and eating out all the time get a little much sometimes.

Toby continues to do well and is a happy boy. He and I had some alone time today and aside from looking at the door a few times to see is Dave was coming back he did well. He doesn't let me hold him unless I'm giving him his bottle or feeding him but he will play with me and interact on the floor. He will be very silly and playful while Dave is holding him. He seems to really feel safe with daddy and we are grateful for that. He also started saying mama today. I'm not in anyway convinced that it is directed at me but it is still nice to hear. Due to his anxious attachment with Dave we are now co-sleeping with Toby. All I have to say is it is amazing to me how a small body can take up so much room on a king size bed.

Today we went for a walk in a nice park close to our hotel. It was hot today so we went early after breakfast and then staying indoors the rest of the day. Toby went in the pool at the hotel today and had a great time. He really likes the water. He was very trusting of Dave and relaxed in his arms in the pool.

Please pray for my sinus's. I'm feeling a little better but as we have another flight tomorrow I really would like for them to clear up more. Thanks for praying for the families that are struggling. They are making positive progress and we are excited about that. We cherish your continued prayers for all of us as well as our children at home.

God Bless

The Past Couple of Days

August 25th we became the legal parents of Hu Ruo Yu (Tobias). We went as a group with the other families back to the registration office and received our official adoption certificates. Then it was off to the notary for more paperwork and pictures. Toby was a trooper but was definitely ready for a nap when we returned to the hotel. Later that afternoon I went with the other families to a place called the Lotus Center (think WalMart). The only difference is I stepped in urine at least 3 times, there is no air conditioning and they have animal carcasses hanging from the ceiling. It was an experience I'm glad I had but do not feel an urgency to go back any time soon. Toby went to bed easily but woke at about 11:30pm coughing a lot. It continued off and on for a while. I checked on him and he awoke so I brought him into our king size bed. Within a couple hours the boy had succeeded in pushing mommy so far to the edge that I had to sleep across the foot of the bed. Then he took daddy's blanket and Dave ended up with me at the foot of the bed. By the morning we were all sleeping the opposite direction on the bed. Not a lot of sleep to be had but we survived.

August 26th was a day to just hang out and relax. We hung out in our hotel room and went for a walk. We will soon head out to dinner with another family. I've been not feeling well and may have a sinus infection. Our guide has given me some sort of Chinese remedy that apparently taste like gym socks but works well. I will try it before bed tonight. Please pray for a quick recovery for me and that Dave and Toby do not get what I have.

It has been an emotional and somewhat tiring couple days as we all learn about one another and adjust to becoming a family. Toby is doing really well. He seems to be learning to trust us and gives us lots of smiles and giggles. He thinks pretend sneezing is really funny. He is most definitely a daddy's boy and doesn't like to have Dave out of his sight too much. Mommy does all the feeding so that's the one time he will sit with me and allow me to hold him. He's fine playing with me as long as daddy's also around. I suppose the one benefit for me is that Dave is now the hot, sweaty one carrying a toddler around all day.

Please continue to pray for us and also for all the families in our travel group. Some are really struggling and need to be lifted up.